Complaining is one of our ego’s favorite strategies for feeding itself in order to get stronger and more powerful. Ego loves complaining even if, most of the time, complaining will not change anything excepting producing negative energy, which will neutralize our positive one.
I will talk about these later on.
Every complain is a little story that our ego-mind is making up in such way that we believe in it.
Whether we complain aloud or only in thought makes no difference.
Some people don’t have too much to identify themselves and chronic complaining is one way to express their unique self.
When we are in the grip of our ego tricks, complaining about anything but more specifically about people is habitual. The process is mostly subconscious which means that we are not even aware of it.
Applying negative labels to people, either to their face or more commonly when we speak about them to others is often part of our self-identification. There are better ways for it.
One of the common side effect of complaining is to trigger other negative feelings such as guilt and guilt is also one of the tool that our ego is using to built its identity.
So, watch out, if you catch yourself complaining about life, your life, your mistakes, a past or current event, a person in either by talking about or just thinking about silently.
It is worthwhile to realize that complaining is always a cardinal sign of non-acceptance of what life and its content is.
Non-acceptance invariably carries an unconscious negative charge, which may bring more other negative feelings such as anger, resentment, regrets, and fear unless social complaining is part of your small talk and has no negative consequences.
Finally: when we complain, we are making ourselves a victim.
So, what to do as far Zen philosophy is concerned?
The recipe is not new to you because the process is always the same.
Pay attention to your thoughts and words and discover that you are complaining about someone or something, then:
- Acknowledge and accept the fact that you are complaining.
- If you can fix it, do it with or without help.
- If you cannot fix it which is the most common scenario, see your complaint as the inner voice of your ego in search for enhancing its identification. Then let it go.
- Also, realize that having too many and too high expectations that cannot be met are frequent causes of frustration, anger, and complaints.
- Try to be more grateful about things rather being resentful.
All else is simply stupidity or even madness.