Last week we talk about attachment as a potential source of suffering.
This week, we are swinging to the opposite side of attachment that is non-acceptance, which also may induce suffering. Suffering and non-acceptance are the opposite sides of the same coin called the emotional mind. Attachment is desire whereas non-acceptance is disliked.
Try to catch yourself complaining in either thought, talk, or action about 1- A situation you find yourself
in, 2- What people think, do or say, 3- Your surroundings, 4- Your life such as family, work, friends and foes, 5- Your health, ....even the weather during small talk.
There is another hidden source of complaining against called the Self. Complaining about self is very common because our education, culture, work, society, and social circle are telling us to be flawless which, of course, is impossible. Complaining about self, usually in a subconscious way is a great source of suffering and leading production of negative energy. This is why part of Zen teaching includes
self-compassion that we talked about before.
If complaining is a minor form of non-acceptance, there are many more intense forms of such as
intolerance, active resistance, fight, and even hatred. All of them will produce suffering.
They are sources of loss of jobs and even wars.
Non-acceptance of whatever is an integral trait of our ego and self-image since, quite often, we identify ourselves with our defensive attitude that is against x, y, z, the same way we identify ourselves with
our attachments that are towards x, y, z, .
When we do not accept either actively or passively, we make ourselves a victim without knowing it.
This image of the self-imposed victim is a cause of chronic stress enhancing the latent suffering.
What should we do then you may ask?
If the source of your complaint can be fixed, jump on it alone or with others.
If the source is out of your control, which is the most frequent case, we have 3 options:
Keep resisting and this is pure insanity.
Leave it if it is possible. If it is not possible:
Take it that is:
1- Be mindful of your non-acceptance whatever its degree and w/o analysis nor decision, then
2- Transform your energy-consuming non-acceptance into accepting the fact as it is.
Life, things, and people are what they are and not what you want them to be. Too bad!
3- Also, remember that everything is transient, the source of non-acceptance and the one who does not accept.
Okay.....By accepting rather than resisting, your ego will be wounded somewhat but
you will not die from it.
On the contrary, you will survive in a better emotional shape, experiencing, maybe,
the beginning of serenity.