Giving up defining yourself A Zen approach
“ Be yourself. It will help you feel better” said my former teacher Yanguil Sunim.
He met: stop posturing, stop creating a persona that is not you.
When we do not play roles which is rare, it means there is no self (ego) in control of our thoughts, and behavior. The ego does not have a secondary agenda: protection or strengthening of yourself.
You are totally focusing on the situation of the moment, becoming one with it. You don’t try to be another me or someone else.
We are more powerful, more effective, more genuine, more relaxed, and less stress-out when we are completely ourselves because there is no mind game, no acting, no conceptual thinking regarding
I, me, myself, and mine.
“How can I be myself” ?you may ask.
It is a wrong question because it implies that you have to do something different from what you are to be yourself.
If so, you are creating a dual me, a source of conflict, anxiety, dissatisfaction, unhappiness, and so on.
But this “ how can I be myself” does not apply, and should not, because you are yourself already. No need for acting. No need for posturing. Just stop adding unnecessary makeup and baggage to whom you are already.
“But I don’t know who I am, and what it means to be myself”? you may ask.
Learn to be comfortable with “ not knowing” what you are. Then, what the actual genuine you,
that is the Being behind the human form will appear as a field of pure potentiality rather than a fictional ego-driven self-created entity.
Try to give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You will not die, you will come to life.
And don’t be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limited themselves, so it is their problem.
Whenever you interact with people, don’t be there primarily as a function or a role, but as a field
of conscious presence.
Why does the ego play roles?
Because of our fundamental delusive error: “ I am not enough to get what I want”
In form, you are and will always be inferior or superior to others. In essence, you are neither
inferior nor superior to anyone.
True self-esteem and true humility arise out of that realization.
In the eyes of the ego, self-esteem, and humility are contradictory.
In truth, they are one and the same.
When you are in touch with this genuine dimension within yourself, all your actions, relationships, and thinking will reflect the egoless oneness that is deep within all of us. It is called empathy, compassion, and love.
Accepting ourselves as we are does not mean ignoring what can be improved, but surely it will help
as far as our ongoing search for serenity. TX