Oakville Zen Meditation
The simple power of presence by Mark
We talk often, when discussing the benefits of a meditation practice, about the positive effects it has personally. It is a little paradoxical because one of the core teachings of Buddhism is that there is no separate self and yet we keep trying to improve it by practicing. We hope to be calmer, more equanimous, balanced, and compassionate. Leaving the paradox aside, there is little doubt that these benefits are available to people who meditate.
But the benefits also accrue to the people around us. Our friends, family, and coworkers will also reap the benefits of our calm, quiet demeanor. We can positively impact their lives by being better versions of ourselves. It is often other people who notice the change in us that grows from our meditation before we do.
I believe there is much benefit to the world around us from developing these attributes. There is also much to be gained from our simple ability to be present. To be fully in the moment wherever we are. This is presence.
Developing our ability to be truly, fully present benefits us but is also a wonderful gift to the people in our lives. Yet, it is so difficult to cultivate and offer regularly. Think about how many times you have met someone for the first time, been introduced, and within 5 seconds you can’t recall their name. How is this possible? You just met the person, and you can’t remember their name! If this sounds like you, you’re certainly not alone. It happens because we are not present in that moment. We meet someone and our mind immediately starts racing… we start to tell ourselves a story about who the person is, what they are all about, how they think about us, and how we can impress them with the next thing we are going to say, etc… Our mind is everywhere except in that moment.
Much of what we are practicing when we sit and meditate is to simply be present and bear witness to the moment; present with whatever is unfolding for us in the moment: distractions of thought, sensations in the body, emotions rising and falling. There is power not only in our ability to be aware of what we are experiencing but to be OK with it, as it is.
Presence is a way “to be”, practicing meditation, and thus presence is about being, not just another thing “to do”; not just another item to check off our laundry list of personal wellness behaviours.
Pragmatism is a word that comes up often in our discussions. We wonder, “what is the pragmatic benefit of meditating? Of being more equanimous? Of being more present?
I want to share a powerful story with you about the power of presence and how it can positively impact the people in our lives in a very concrete, pragmatic way.
(At this point I will introduce Frank Osteseki, his background, the book, and the anecdote I am about to read. After the reading I will provide a little more context for why I used it.)
