Oakville Zen Meditation
Feeling being a victim : a Zen perspective
One of the purposes of Zen practice is to offer an open heart to self and around us.
But It is not easy to open up our own hearts, to open to the “I, me, myself, and mine”. The breakdown of any situation where you feel being a victim results in a flow of powerful negative feelings. Why is that?
Zen considers that, during these painful events, the ego is the hidden culprit, standing as a defender and protector. It cannot be otherwise since the feeling of being a victim is, essentially, ego driven.
So, the regular flow of powerful negative feelings of a broken heart is, in large part, but not totally, a “broken ego” from its long-standing habit to be self- centered by definition.
Can Zen practice help?
Zen looks at the broken heart as follows: it is not the heart itself that is broken, it is the broken ego releasing a torrential low of ego-made negativities such as anger, guilt, regrets, jealousy, feeling stupid, etc…. from which the ego is feeding itself.
You may argue that the breakdown of a relationship or being a victim from x, y, z is usually external,
but, again,our broken ego remains the key internal factor of our own suffering.
Reacting against an unwanted situation difficult to swallow will not only further feed this ego but will also make that situation even worse. You are creating an insane catch 22 vicious circle.
Using mindfulness meditation, the practice of loving kindness, compassion, and forgiveness not only to others but also to ourselves will comfort and appease a broken heart.
It opens the way to peace and equanimity, those very feelings that are totally missing when you are suffering from a broken heart or the feeling of being a victim from whoever, whatever.
Remember this:
Our genuine self has nothing to do with its little twin called the ego. If our ego enjoys feeling great, powerful, successful, rich, smart, healthy, and full of many other positive feelings, it also enjoys the very opposite such as being a victim or subject to negative feelings such as guilt,anger, poor self image,being miserable, stupid, etc..In fact, our ego does not make any distinction between the positive and the negative feelings. The reason for this apparent contradiction ?
Feelings are self- centered and therefore great food for the ego who is feeding itself continously on whatever these feelings are positive i.e. “ I am great” or negative i.e. “I am a victim” .
Dissociating yourself from your ego is not an easy undertaking, but with will and practice it is possible.
However, while being a victim, Zen offers no serenity if your ego is still in the way, allowing suffering to persist.
