Oakville Zen Meditation
Complaining is one of our ego’s favorite strategies for self-identification and strengthening.
How often do you catch yourself complaining about whomever, whatever, whenever?
Or even about your life and life in general. The list is endless.
We are complaining mostly subconsciously, as demonstrated using hypnosis.
Our reactions while complaining take many forms, appropriate or detrimental, that I will not elaborate on.
Who is behind my complaint?
Except for the rare occasion when complaining is justified, most complaints are a little story that our ego-mind creates, and strangely enough, we tend to believe in it.
Our ego always seeks to enhance its self-identification, and complaining is one of its favorite tools.
“ I am complaining, I am a victim, therefore I exist.”
Finally, complaining is also an integral part of our ongoing daydreaming state, and most of them are meaningless. Remember: daydreaming is a sort of small talk to oneself.
In a broader sense:
Complaining is a negative emotional feeling that should be incorporated into the same basket
that all other negative emotions, such as anger, regret, worry, guilt, anxiety, and so on.
To complain is always a non-acceptance of what things, events, and people are.
Again, complaining is making us a victim, and the ego loves it because being a victim is self-centered.
Similar to other negative feelings, complaining always produces negative energy that sucks a lot of our counterpart positive emotional energy which should be used for other things.
So, what to do?
If the complaint remains subconscious, there is nothing we can do about it, despite burning energy, as I said.
Otherwise, learn to catch yourself complaining about x, that is, practicing awareness of your complaint. Then, ask yourself this:
“Can I fix the trigger”? If you can go for it, and fix it.
If not, which is the most frequent case, accept it...and let it go by asking the next following question:
“Is it the genuine me who is complaining, or is it my ego looking for attention,” such as playing the role of a victim, since, as said before, being a victim is an integral part of ego’s self-identification, like any other of its other opposite attributes, such as control, power, success, being strong, etc.
Acknowledge, accept, and let it go are the classical 3 steps taught by Zen for almost everything.
As Thich Nhat Hanh said one day to a student during a retreat:
“Complaining: Fix it; if not, let it go, but don’t be a victim .” Thanks Arnaud
