Oakville Zen Meditation
Why is it so hard to meditate every day? Part I ( Next: part II: How to create a daily routine.)
We always make time for zillions of things that we have to do everyday because they are mandatory, such as eating, showering, driving, working, reading, etc. In other words, they are daily priorities. If meditation is not a priority, its daily and group routine practices are impossible.
Meditation can be difficult because it requires training your mind to focus and be present, which goes against our modern tendency for constant external stimulation and multitasking. The difficulty often stems from common misconceptions and our brain's natural resistance to stillness.
Beside not making meditation a priority, the most common reasons why its practice can be difficult
and why so many beginners will quit are the following:
High / Unrealistic expectations / Unproductive
Many come to meditation after reading that mindfulness meditation is the modern Holy Grail to fix all our existantial problems. This is fake news! Meditation is helping us to deal emotionally with our issues, but not to eliminate them with a magic eraser stick.This is why so many will quit because either the issue persists despite the practice - meaning meditation does not work- or because the issue has gone independently, and meditation is therefore not needed anymore.
Having 2 misconceptions about how our mind works:
1 Expecting to stop our mind momentum::
Our brains are wired for constant activity, analysis, judgment, planning , problem-solving, and a stream of feelings.( ie. ~100,000 thought/day).
When you meditate, it's like "slamming the brakes on a car going 100Km/h.
It takes time to slow down our monkey mind, and this monkey will naturally resist this shift to low gear.
2 Expecting to achieve an “empty mind” :
One of the biggest hurdles is the false belief that a successful meditation requires to achieve and maintain an "empty" or "quiet" mind.Fake news: it is impossible to stop thinking completely. In fact, the actual goal is to notice when your mind wanders - it always does- and gently bring your focus back to an anchor, such as your breath.
Impatience:
Many get frustrated when they don't, within a few weeks or even a few days feel peaceful or have a "perfect" Awakening experience. This negative self-talk and pressure to achieve a certain and rapid serenity state becomes a barrier in itself. Remember this: because of the slow process of meditation-induced neuroplasticity, the beneficial effects of meditation will appear only over time, never rapidly despite what your readings are telling you. Meditation is not a quick fix.
Doubt or having negative judgment about our practice
After the initial phase of excitement which may last a few weeks, doubt or being overly critical about your “skill as a meditator or about the quality of your meditation may / will kick in :“ My mind is non-stop all the time. I am not good enough at this stuff. It is not for me, cannot focus more than a few seconds, etc..”.Meditation is frustrating. Never judge yourself and your meditation. Just accept the good practices and the bad ones as they are. Remember this:practice is cumulative regardless how you judge it.
Boredom, and “meditation fatigue”:
We are accustomed to constant stimulation (phones, TV, Internet, busy schedules), so sitting quietly steadly, and focusing on repetitive tasks such as back-and-forth thought/breathing/thought/breathing day after day can feel incredibly monotonous, boring, useless, and dull.
Physical and Emotional Discomfort:
Sitting still, even on a chair, and in silence can bring up to the surface physical tension and subconscious negative emotions like anger, anxiety, guilt, frustration, or sadness that you may have been too busy to notice or process during your busy daily life. Facing these intense negative feelings without usual external distractions can be very uncomfortable and lead to a desire to quit sooner or later.
Lack of tight daily solo routine, and weekly group practice.
Without them that is: when, how and where to do your meditation practice, quitting is around the corner.
Lack of Time: frequent excuse for not considering meditation a priority.
In a busy life, it can be hard to justify or find time for something that feels unproductive.
